The Age of Innocence

Yesterday I was waylaid by the lovely intentions of Alicia, Ste, Julie, Ramesh (and a host of people) as they literally thrust a chocolate cake in my face (alas, not Lana!). It's usually a delightful surprise, but when the top is littered with wax overflowing from quite a massive number of candles, embarrassment was the immediate reaction. But I remain grateful for such a sweet and thoughtful gesture.

It's been a very long time since I celebrated my birthday in a public arena - my birthday usually comprises gentle relexation and DVD watching. Why have my 'celebrations' evolved in this fashion? Is it a refusal to face ageing? Perhaps. Or perhaps it is the avoidance of reminders of mortality? Or perhaps it becomes a day where self-reflection is paramount.

Ever so often, and even more so on my birthday, I reflect on life, the universe and everything. I usually find no answers, but more and more questions. What happened to the young, innocent soul who has succumbed to cynicism and the mind-numbing influences of the world. Do I even vaguely resemble who I wanted to be one year ago, let alone a few years ago? And what has caused my ideals to change? It's a tough world out there, and sometimes one just needs the time and space to plan an offensive.

I'm not sure that it's age per se that is the issue. Despite the vicissitudes of life, the only certainty is that with each passing day, we are one step closer to facing our mortality. That's the issue. Are we prepared if the day is tomorrow; if we so choose, can we say we lived a meaningful life?

Well, judging from the events of yesterday and the continuous events through most of my life, I am blessed by exceptional friends who have given meaning to my life. For some strange reason, they cope with my somewhat strange inclinations towards dead languages, tennis court swearing and fermented grape juice. And speaking of grape juice... you'll be amused to hear that I was carded whilst paying for a few bottles at Sainsbury's this morning!