I hate not knowing what to do when a friend is in pain. Especially when I can't claim solidarity through shared experience. I cannot purport to know the trauma or numbness.

I am otherwise helpless but would like to offer what I can - neither strings nor words ... just two bony but steady shoulders and cartons of triple-ply Kleenex.

And the promise of savoury crepes and sparkling water (in chilled glasses) at Our Usual Place next summer.