It's a bird, it's a plane ... it's ... it's ...

Pregnancy isn't merely a good back-breaker, it's also THE perfect ice-breaker. It helps to fill the remaining space in the elevator (what's left after I've lumbered in anyway) with merry conversation about the due date, baby's sex, etc. etc. Take for example my recent conversation with our Argentinian neighbour: we had never really spoken prior to that, but when she spotted my belly (the anti-elephant in the elevator), something clicked. I was treated to her birth stories -she has two boys- and loads of advice about preparing for birth. Some of it was useful, no doubt, but it was still a lot to take in on what would otherwise have been a short skip to the mailbox.

Ground floor, doors open. I smiled, nodded, and she continued, "... and that's why I think those birth preparation courses aren't very useful. They focus too much on the pain. That's not good. [elaborates on how her grandma had 7 kids in the days prior to drugs, and pain relief options, etc.] ... but you don't have to worry. You Asians have a way of dealing with pain, you do something special in your head [points to her temple], so I'm sure you'll be fine."

Eh, did I miss something there? Could it be that the entire Asian community has been hiding some secret, mind-lulling ohmmm technique from me ALL THIS TIME?!! What is it that I could do 'in my head' to facilitate a pain-free delivery ... return to my Zen meditative state? Surely she can't mean my uncanny knack for falling asleep in moving vehicles, my more prosaic self-defence mechanism ... but she seemed so certain, so convinced, that I too caught the urge to believe in my own innate mystical/super-hero potential.

***

What ten years of classical ballet training never instilled in me, the seven months of pregnancy have: the waddle. With toes turned outwards and heels pointing in, I swagger in a most alluring fashion -alluring if you're a half-blind drake that missed the last migration- in my (fat) catwoman suit, swinging my arms briskly to build up momentum as I prepare for take-off. I launch out of the elevator, glide swiftly down the stairs and out the door in the twinkle of an eye. Back with today's post in 2 minutes, flat.

Me at around 29-ish weeks (I've kind of lost track).