Give it to me baby

Ste and I are real nutters for animal documentaries and are the proud owners of a full set of David Attenborough's Life of Mammals. Incidentally, Dave is a real hottie and has no qualms whatsoever getting down and dirty in an equatorial leaf litter to inspect its inhabitants. We've acquired a range of useful tips from that truly brilliant series ... one for instance, on baboons' meticulous grooming techniques. Indeed, one can never be overly vigilant with insects and parasites (especially when one's baboon group is comprised of fellow furry flea-traps) ... but more significant is the reinforcing effect of grooming on social ties. Our equivalent action to maintain smooth relations (and exemplary coats) is a somewhat watered-down version of the Full Monkey ... with only symbolic flea-finding (and crunching) motions.

Over summer we were tantalised by a promotional poster at the neighbourhood art house cinema. Animals in Love, a French production, kept us waiting for months till it finally hit the big screen in January. It was NOT animal porn as Alfred had scoffed, but beautifully filmed scenes of Nature at work. The kind of stuff that makes you know that there is a Master Plan. From that installment, Ste has mastered a turkey-like gobble-gobble (though he hasn't yet managed to inflate his neck pouch as stupendously as the spotted fowl's) and I am working on my suggestive mountain goat tongue flapping. It is quite a sight. Give us a couple of years and we might just oust Sideshow Bob and the Bearded Woman as the hottest loons this side of the Zurichsee.

These days, Monday nights are reserved for yet another excellent Attenborough series, Life in Cold Blood. We were unsure if the likes of reptiles and amphibians would offer us any kind of behavioral inspiration at first, but held our tongues (sssss ... sssss ...). David and his team of fauna did not let us down ... and we have a new addition to our already quacky repertoire: slow arm (or leg, if you are a gecko or frog) waves to ward off trespassers. Absolutely brilliant, though probably more practice is needed before we take our show on the road. We haven't yet been able to keep straight, reptilian-cool faces as we bask on our respective piles of rocks to increase our body temperatures. We simply crack up.